Breaking Up is Hard to Do…



There’s nothing worse than getting the boot(no point in sugar coating it) but what happens on the flip side?

Breaking up with someone isn’t an easy feat. It’s easy to take pity on the person being dumped, but really you should spare a thought for the other half. God knows they’ve probably been lying awake all night desperately googling the right/easiest way to get out of their relationship.

Generic Break Up Lines Often Used.

1. “Our lives are going in different directions” – They’re on the dole, you’re not. Enough said.

2. “The timing is wrong” – Ugh spare us. Sometimes though, the timing might not be good, especially if you’ve gotten together when neither of you were in a good place or when an ex is still on the scene trying to mess things up. It happens. Continue reading

And They Lived Happily Ever After…

Pretty Woman
Pretty Woman

Yes. Yes they did…….. in the movies… and maybe in two or three Taylor Swift songs.

Have you ever broken up with someone and been alarmingly calm  because you thought ”ah sure it’ll be grand, they’ll climb up my fire escape in a few days or chase me dramatically through an airport and declare their undying love for me”?

Listen, there is not a hope of anyone chasing you anywhere, and for three reasons.

1. Most men would be like ”ah no sure the effort of driving to the airport at this hour, I’ll send her a Whatspp and a winky face, she loves a winky face”.

2.  You most likely don’t have a fire escape.

3. Why would you even be at the airport? You can’t leave the country just because someone dumps you…. God! Get a grip.

So, there you are consumed with disappointment because your ‘Dear John’ fails to try win you back with a big romantic gesture, or worse, he doesn’t try at all.

Although, on a rare occasion when you’re sick they may show up at your house with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. But let me tell you, they will hand you the Ice-cream, mumble a ‘feel better’ type of comment and leave. And you’ll be standing there in your fluffy dressing gown, with a runny nose like ‘wait….. what?….but where’s the big speech about how much you love me and how much you want me back?’

Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was in fact, just a tub of Ice-cream? No, of course you didn’t because women like to read into things and over-analyze every detail. Men usually just mean what they say. Seriously there is no hidden meaning behind a 500ml tub of Cookie Dough.

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Those epic, romantic movies we all love have given us these ridiculous expectations for relationships. So you go around in a state of denial when it’s over because you assume you’ll eventually get back together. After all, that’s what happened in ‘The Notebook’ and ‘Pretty Woman’  and even ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. Surely no one seen that one coming, I mean the clue was in the title.

Just enjoy the film then forget about it because there is no hope of it ever happening in real life.

Even if someone did chase you down the street in the pouring rain and tell you they want to be with you, it’s most likely because they’re drunk. Chances are they won’t remember it the next day.

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Collage (45)

Sure it’s happened to the best of us.


When Your Non-Committer Finally Commits (to someone else)

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Yes! Really.

Cast your mind back there to THAT episode of Sex And The City when Carrie meets Big after he returns from Paris. Not only has he got a new girlfriend(Natasha) but they’re also engaged.

Why is it a big deal? Well Carrie and Big stopped dating because….wait for it… he said he had “commitment issues”. Oh the irony.  Seriously though, what an absolute kick in the face.

So what can you do if this happens? Absolutely nothing. But before you do nothing, you’ll wreck your brains wondering ‘why her?’. Don’t bother, it’ll get you nowhere.

Let’s go back to that S.A.T.C episode. So, Carrie obsesses over Natasha and how composed she is and how neat her hair is etc. No doubt if there was Facebook back when S.A.T.C was on air she would have been stalking her profile like a crazed lunatic, because let’s be real – women are a bit mad.

Suddenly, Carrie has an epiphany. Just like Katie with Hubbell in the classic movie  ‘The Way We Were’, her hair was wild and she was just too complicated  for a man like Big. Hubbell couldn’t be with Katie for the same reasons so he leaves her and marries someone simpler. The fact of the matter is that the world is made up of two types of girls. The simple girls with neat, straight hair and the Katie girls, with messy, curly hair.

And some of us are just Katie girls.

Carrie and Big
Carrie and Big

Let’s be honest, most men just want a hassle free life. Sure who doesn’t really. So some of them choose quiet, agreeable girls. Purely because it makes for an easy relationship. Sure who are we to argue with that? Each to their own and all that.

So what can you do? As I said already; nothing.

But here’s a few DO’S and DON’T’S just for good measure.


1. Stalk her Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Find something better do to with your time. Seriously.

2. Sit at home and eat Ice-Cream. Getting  fat is not going to help the situation.

3. Be that girl who calls up the new girlfriend to ‘warn her’ of the type of man she is getting involved with. Don’t do that….. Don’t be bitter……… Just don’t.


1. Get over it and move on.

2. Accept that maybe you just weren’t the right one for them. Maybe they were just never sure of you.

3. Watch ‘500 days Of Summer’  then refer to point 1.

500 Days Of Summer
500 Days Of Summer

P.S  I’ve always found plain and simple to be quite boring.