Trouble, Trouble, Trouble…

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago…… And well, you know the rest!

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It’s not a new thing that good girls love going for a bad boy, it has always been this way. It’s not necessarily anything they do or say but it’s the feeling you get when you’re around them. Bad boys aren’t always covered in tattoos and you won’t find them casually standing by their car, smoking – that’s the Hollywood stereotype. The real bad boys have nice hair, good jobs and they say all the right things.

While the bad guys clean up with the ladies, the nice guys wait on the sidelines claiming that women ”prefer to be treated like crap” – and for some reason this seems to be true. You go for the ones who you know are trouble, who aren’t going to treat you well or buy you flowers. The ones who will only call you when they have nothing better to do. The ones who will send you to the brink of madness and manipulate you until finally enough is enough and you decide to call it off……for a while anyway. Because let’s be honest you’ll go back to them and the whole thing will happen all over again because like a magnet you’re drawn to their ‘take it or leave it’ attitude. But why?

The Justin Bobby Factor

Remember Justin Bobby from The Hills? Lad with the motorcycle and glorious, flowing locks? Yep!

Remember how he would just show up on his cool bike whenever he felt like it! He would mess Audrina around and then when she decided she’d had enough she would end things with him, for like a week. It never bothered him because he knew she would come crawling back.Which she did, many a time. He even kissed another girl in front of her and then convinced her she didn’t really see it and that she was just ”believing what she wanted to see”. And she agreed with him. Mind f*****g at its very best!

In classic Justin Bobby style he once gave Audrina a promise ring as a sign of his commitment to her….  and then he did a complete 360 and she basically never heard from him again.

Ah, Justin Bobby – he had lovely hair but my god that boy was a weirdo.

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And he really didn’t care, he was just going along for the ride – literally!

 

But really… Why?

Some girls just gravitate towards guys who are bad news. But why when there are so many nice ones to go out with?

1. The chase and the challenge – Most people enjoy a challenge and going after the ungettable. The bad ones keep you on your toes. They reel you in and make you fall for them and then they take a step back and suddenly you’re the one chasing them. It’s all a game that you unknowingly enter yourself into. You keep playing because it’s far too interesting not to.

2. It’s not sustainable – Maybe deep down you know you’re not ready for a real relationship, so subconsciously you go for guys who you know it will never work out with. You take comfort in the fact that this lunatic will never be your husband so you justify it by saying ”ah sure it’s grand for now”. It’s like falling for someone who lives on the other side of the world, or someone younger or someone you work with. Ultimately its never going to end well but you don’t want it to anyway, right?

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3.  The dramatics of it all – You just don’t know what stunt they’re going to pull on you next and you can’t help but stick around to find out. You might not get a promise ring but what you might get is a nice watch and an earful of cliched lines such as ” it’s you, it’s always been you and it always will be you” – a classic!

But just like JB they’ll deliver the grand gesture and then go back to their shady ways. Never a dull moment and this is why you keep going back.

4. The game-changer – Most women have a built in need to fix things and/or people. So you pick the troubled, tortured one to go out with because you want to ‘fix’ them. You think you can be the one to change them, to make them ditch their womanizing ways. You want them to settle down with you, drink tea and watch The Notebook.  It’s the fairytale mentality, you want to be the exception not the rule.
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Unless you’re Blair Waldorf you’re probably never going to turn a bad boy good. But if nothing else at least you’ll get a good story out of it, learn absolutely nothing and move on to the next one.

Ah women! If you ever do find yourself wondering where all the nice guys are, more than likely they’re in the friendzone where you left them.

@dollyrach

Valentine’s Day And The Single Girlo.

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The supposed most romantic day of the year is fast approaching and you’re still single. It’s the one day of the year that you actually wish you had someone, right? Not really. Valentine’s Day is great for single people – no sarcasm intended.

Think about it, more than likely someone in your family takes pity on you (usually your mother) and sends you a Valentine’s card from a ‘secret admirer’ then denies down to the ground it was them. People feeling sorry for you means you are bombarded with flowers, teddies and numerous boxes of chocolates. You wouldn’t clean up like this if you were in a relationship. Having played for both teams, it’s safe to say single people definitely get the better deal here.

Lads are fairly predictable when it comes to V-Day. They gather their mates and head out to a club assuming it’s the easiest night of the year to pick up a lady, because in their heads all women are desperate on Valentine’s Day. Fools. Women are desperate most weekends if you know where to look – *Coppers cough cough*.

On Valentine’s Day, there are usually three types of ‘single girlo’.

1. The Planner.

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You have to keep yourself busy on the big day because not having plans is just unacceptable. You don’t want people to think you’re a loser, so you gather your single friends and make an effort to do something ‘special’ so as not to feel left out on love day. Even if all your girlfriends are busy with their boyfriends you have no problem spending the evening with a friend of a friend who you heard was also single and looking to keep themselves occupied. Not desperate at all. Because anything would be better than sitting in alone. God forbid.

2. The Cynic.

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When people ask you about Valentine’s Day you tell them it’s nothing more than a marketing gimmick set up by the card and chocolate companies to make money. You’ll then go on to say that if two people really love each other then it’s ridiculous that they only show it once a year, they should be showing their love everyday blah blah blah. On Facebook you quietly slate all your friends who are uploading pictures of their bunches of roses and their Michael Kors watches and/or handbags, and let’s not forget the generic MAC voucher gift. Same thing is happening over on Twitter and Instagram, where on the 14th of February the phrase ‘#Luckygirl’ becomes the most overused word in the world. Give it a rest love, you’ll be back out cheating on your bloke next weekend.

3. The Hopeless Romantic. 

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The best kind of ‘single girlo’. There’s something about this lovely day that makes you think that anything can happen. There’s magic in the air everywhere you go. Seeing couples doesn’t make you sad, you feel happy around people in love. You hope it will be you someday. You can’t help but smile at the man walking through town with the big bunch of flowers for his wife. It’s comforting knowing romance isn’t dead, even if it does take a dedicated day to bring it out in people. You sit at home and gravitate towards every romantic movie on TV. No you don’t have a boyfriend, but maybe someone who secretly likes you will spontaneously show up at your door with a big, giant teddy bear and flowers. More than likely they won’t but sure a girl can dream.

For your enjoyment, here is the most obvious ‘single girlo’ song to see us out.

Happy Valentine’s Day 🙂

@dollyrach

You’re So Vain, I Bet You Think….

…This Blog Is About You?

Nah it’s not really but sure if the shoe fits, feel free to lace it up and wear it.

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We all know someone who thinks there is simply no one on this planet as amazing as they are, and I’m not talking about the girls.

There is nothing wrong with male grooming and wanting to look your best but when they’re uploading more ‘selfies’ than Kim Kardashian and checking their reflection in the back of their mirrored iPhone cover, it’s a bit too much.

Worse than that though? The arrogance and cockiness that comes along with it. Nothing worse than having to sit there and listen to them talk about how they can get V.I.P. in any club in Dublin.

Give it a rest pal you’re not Jay-Z – tweeting a nightclub and asking for a table does not mean you have ‘connections’.

7 Sign’s He’s Too Cocky To Deal With.

1. He’s Just So Good At His Job. 

Yes it’s great that they actually have a job. But if he can’t stop bragging about how much money he makes or how everyone in the office could do with being more like him – get out now. Because next thing you know he’ll be ‘advising’ you on your career and yep… telling you how you can be more like him. What is it he does again?

2. Gym Selfie Lad.

We all know this one. He can’t go to the gym without telling Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and probably LinkedIn too. He uploads the classic ‘here I am at the gym’ mirror selfie at least 3 times a week and let’s not forget the classic status about how tough ‘leg day’ was. We get it mate, you go the gym. Well done.

3. Mr. ‘Grey Goose’.

He’s too cool to queue for drinks at the bar on a Saturday night. He won’t put on his blazer for anything less than a bottle of Grey Goose vodka. Nothing but the best to impress the ladies. Listen, the ladies don’t care if it’s Grey Goose or Glenn’s vodka from Tesco. We’re just happy it’s vodka.

4. 99 Problems… All Bitches!

Drama, drama, drama. He is constantly having problems with the girls. His life is just so tough. They all fancy him and he just can’t find the time to evenly spread himself amongst the lot. What with his big, important job and going to the gym there are simply not enough hours in the day. Cry me a river.

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5. Mr. Cultured.

He’s spent a year in Australia on a working visa – him, and the rest of the country. He claims he knows everything there is to know about the big, bad world. He just wants to tell you how much better life is outside Ireland. Oh yeah why is it you came back again?

6. ”Dunno yet babe, we’ll see closer to the time yeah?”

He’d like to see you at the weekend but he’s just so busy. He has to see what he’s doing first. This one is waiting for a more fabulous, more exciting plan to come along. He genuinely believes his life is that great. When the big, ‘fabulous’ plan fails to manifest itself, he’ll panic text you, assuming you are ”still free yeah?”. Nope.

7. He Has Something Bad To Say About Everyone.

He hears a name and immediately associates the word ‘ slut’ or ‘d**khead’ with it. Your friends, his friends, he doesn’t hold back. He has a story he could tell you about everyone. He builds himself up by putting other people down. Stay away from this one. If he can talk like this about other people to you, you can be sure he’ll talk about you to other people.

No man can get away with any of these traits, unless of course he’s Chuck Bass…… who’s not real! But here’s a picture of his glorious face anyway.

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@dollyrach

Why’d You Only Text Me When You’re Drunk?!

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Male or female, sender or receiver, we’ve all been involved in the classic drunk text scenario. Even your man from the Arctic Monkeys does it when he’s high!

It’s a Saturday night, you’re out in a club and you think ”My god do you know what I should do? I should text _____ now and see where they are”. Realistically ____ is usually someone you fancy or worse, an ex. Never would you ever text them sober but sure six vodkas later and it seems like the best idea you’ve ever had.

Two kinds of people you are likely to drunk text:

1. The Crush – Nothing like a bit of Dutch courage to get the finger out(literally) and start texting. If it’s someone you fancy and you don’t have their number you might go as far as sending them a Facebook mail. You’re drunk, everything seems like a great idea and that’s definitely not creepy at all. Sure you just want to know if they’re out tonight.

2. The Ex – A classic. It’s never a good idea but you’re drunk so you do it anyway. Most likely you’ll text them to tell them how much you hate them and what a p***k they are. Sure while you’re there you might as well see if they’re out tonight.

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It’s always to see if they’re out tonight.

If you’re going to do the ‘drunk text’ thing you really need to start putting in the groundwork quite early on in the night. It doesn’t have to be anything too obvious. The boys usually give a subtle ‘like’ on the girl’s Facebook picture – this ensures they are on her radar. The ladies might send a Snapchat of their drink just to let a certain person know that they’re out and alcohol is involved. Once you’ve laid the foundation you can start the texting.

You might even be guilty of sending them a random message that makes no sense and then pretend it was meant for a friend. When they text back ”what?”, you can write back ”oh sorry, I meant to send that to ‘insert fake friend’s name here’ anyway are you out tonight?” – In there like swimwear!

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a drunk text you’ll notice that they usually start coming in around 2am. This is because they want to get their message in there before the clubs start closing. Anything later and it might be too late to get the desired outcome.

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If you receive a drunk text and don’t see it until the next morning, don’t bother replying. That ship has well and truly sailed.

Some people are culprits for the drinking and texting habit but there’s a few things you can do to prevent yourself from being one of them.

1. Put your phone on flight mode. That way you can still use your camera but cannot send or receive any texts or calls. Genius. Unless you take it off flight mode obviously, then you’re back to square one.

2. Don’t own a phone on the weekends. Although if you’re determined enough to send a drunken message you will go home and turn your laptop on at 4am and send a drunken Facebook mail. As the saying goes ‘some things are better left unsaid’ but let’s face it, you’ll get drunk and say them anyway.

3. Ask your friend to hide your phone – just make sure they’re not so drunk that they can’t remember where they hid it the next day. It can easily happen. Still, a job well done nonetheless.

4. Download an app. It’s a sad day when people have to create apps to prevent other people from drunk dialling. ‘Ex-Lover Blocker’ is a new app that prevents you from texting a certain number and if you do try to text, the app will notify three of your assigned friends. Also, it’s connected to your Facebook so if you do try to text the restricted number it will update your status letting everyone know that you’re drunk and trying to text your ex- the shame. Harsh, but clearly necessary for some people.

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We’ve all partaken in a drunk text and it is NEVER worth it. The next day you feel like an absolute fool. You swear you’ll never do it again…

7 days later ”Hwey ayw ypu oyt?l xcx”

@dollyrach

The Friend Zone!

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Some say there is no such thing as the friend zone and that it is just an excuse men use to deal with being rejected by a lady pal. However, last year the term ‘friend zone’ was added to the Oxford English Dictionary, so therefore it’s a real thing.

The ‘friend zone’ is the term used to describe the platonic relationship between two people in which one of them wishes for something on a more romantic level, but the other just wants to be chums. Think Jacob with Bella in Twilight, although no girl in her right mind would ever friend zone that glorious boy!

An example of something you might hear in the friend zone…

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Other lines commonly used

‘I love you……like a brother/sister’.

‘You’re the only real friend I have, let’s not ruin it’.

‘You’re a really nice guy, anyone(else) would be lucky to have you’.

‘It’s not you….I’m just not ready to date at the moment'(out with your best mate the following weekend).

You don’t necessarily make a decision to friend zone someone. Sometimes you can do it subconsciously and sometimes you just prefer the person as a friend. Simple as that.

A lot of guys go around with the notion that they have been friend-zoned by a particular girl, but have never actually told the girl how they feel because they just assume it’s not going to be reciprocated.

Never assume, if you don’t ask you will never know.

Then there’s always the chance that actually, you both like each other but both think you are being friend-zoned. Very unfortunate situation.  Best thing to do there would be to get drunk and say something. If the other party doesn’t mention it the next day, say no more and pretend it never happened. Drunk people get away with things like that all the time.

Guys who find themselves in the friend zone also believe they suffer from ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’. They believe they are too nice to girls and that is why they are never interested. They think most girls want a bad boy and then opt for the ‘treat em’ mean, keep em’ keen’ approach. This often works in their favour and then the girl comes running back.

Women are very complicated and never really know what they want until they know what it is they can’t have.

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The friend zone is actually quite sexist because you rarely hear of a guy friend-zoning a girl, at least not before he sleeps with her and thus leading her to believe that they are more than friends. That is where the lines get blurred and suddenly you’re staring down the barrel of a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, which is a whole other ball game(no pun intended).

Moral of the story – there is no harm in telling someone how you feel. Sure it worked out well for these two!

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@dollyrach