There’s nothing worse than getting the boot(no point in sugar coating it) but what happens on the flip side?
Breaking up with someone isn’t an easy feat. It’s easy to take pity on the person being dumped, but really you should spare a thought for the other half. God knows they’ve probably been lying awake all night desperately googling the right/easiest way to get out of their relationship.
Generic Break Up Lines Often Used.
1. “Our lives are going in different directions” – They’re on the dole, you’re not. Enough said.
2. “The timing is wrong” – Ugh spare us. Sometimes though, the timing might not be good, especially if you’ve gotten together when neither of you were in a good place or when an ex is still on the scene trying to mess things up. It happens.
3. “I think I might be falling for you and that scares me, so we should stop seeing each other” – What??? Like really? Don’t use this line. If you’re hearing this then it’s your own fault for making your bloke watch too many Nicholas Sparks movies. Either that or they’re batting for the other team.
4. ” I need some space” – If you’re living in each other’s pockets then by all means go for broke with this one, but if you don’t see them from one end of the week to the next, this isn’t gonna fly. You’re gonna need to come up with something more believable. If you’re hearing this – they’re just looking for an excuse to get out. See next point.
5. “It’s not you, it’s me” – Oldest line in the book. Such a lack of imagination from those who actually use it, yet so many get away with it. It literally means the opposite of what it says. No offence but it definitely is you, if it wasn’t they wouldn’t be breaking up with you.
Basically every line is just a roundabout way of saying I don’t want to be with you. A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth so they sugar coat it and make up some lie about how maybe in another life you might have been perfect for each other blah blah blah it’s all so sad…..
There are some people that remain in a miserable relationship their whole lives because they simply don’t have the balls to break up with their other half. These people are all talk.
You tell your mates today is the day you’re gonna break it off, only to absolutely bottle it and in some cases even manage to dig yourself in deeper.
Why Bottle it?
1. No One Wants to be The Bad Guy – Nobody likes being the bearer of bad news. Most guys who break up with a girl suggest staying friends simply because they don’t want to be hated. Remember – they just want to have an easy life and if they were to be hated that would be inconvenient for them. They’d prefer if you could read their mind and do their dirty work for them.
2. The Familiar -There are couples that have been together since their teens and the relationship is all they know. Even though they don’t want to be with the person anymore they don’t know how to be without them. Therefore, staying with them seems like the lesser of two evils.
3. Grass is Greener Syndrome – You think you want to break up with them because you think you’re missing out on the single life. But something in the back of your mind is stopping you from going through with it. Maybe you’re worried that if you do break up with them you might come to realise that single life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be(it definitely is… but whatever). In turn you’ll miss your other half and you may not be able to get them back. So you decide it’s not worth the risk.
4. Their Mammy is Nice to You – Not only will you hurt them but you also risk hurting their family, especially if you happen to be particularly close to them. You’ll miss their mammy who always makes you tea and gives you cakes whenever you call in and you’re sure they’ll miss you too. There’s also the issue of mutual friends, things could get really awkward if you have the same group of mates. You’re not up for that kind of tension so it’s better to just stay as you are.
5. All Bitches be Trippin’ – You literally CANNOT watch anymore episodes of ‘The Kardashians’ and if you get dragged into another Penneys shop for a “quick look” you’re actually going to shoot yourself. So you tell yourself enough is enough… But then you realise that it’s not just her and no matter what woman you go out with, you’ll still get dragged into Penneys and you’ll still have to listen to her complain about being fat. That’s just women. There’s no escaping that shit.
Some people will go to great lengths to get out of a relationship, they might even pretend to move country. ANYTHING to avoid that horribly, awkward conversation. Although you wouldn’t get away with that kind of thing these days, too easy to stalk with the likes of Facebook, Instagram, location settings on Viber etc.
The Right Time?
You often hear people say that they’re waiting for the “right time” to break up with someone. They use excuses like “It’s her birthday soon, that’s too harsh” or “Christmas is just around the corner so it’s not the best time”, “We have a holiday booked, it’s not a good time” or even “She/He is really stressed at the moment, it’s not very fair on them”.
Here’s the thing, there is NO good time, the time is now. Stop being a coward. If you want to give someone the boot just do it!
That said, there’s a right way to go about it. DO NOT do it by text. That’s really cowardly and immature. You’re better than that. A good way to dump someone would be over a nice cuppa tea, maybe a bitta chocolate to soften the blow. Dairy Milk Oreo bars are currently on special offer in Tesco if anyone’s feeling brave. A bad way to dump someone would be by post-it(i.e Burger from SATC) OR at 3am in the morning, whilst they’re standing in minus temperatures… dressed as a mermaid!
Time and a place people… time and a place!
At the end of the day, although you might care about the other person you have to do what’s best for YOU. There is no point in sacrificing your happiness for the sake of someone else. You’ll just end up resenting them in the long run… and possibly even end up cheating on them.
But that’s a story for another day!