And They Lived Happily Ever After…

Pretty Woman
Pretty Woman

Yes. Yes they did…….. in the movies… and maybe in two or three Taylor Swift songs.

Have you ever broken up with someone and been alarmingly calm  because you thought ”ah sure it’ll be grand, they’ll climb up my fire escape in a few days or chase me dramatically through an airport and declare their undying love for me”?

Listen, there is not a hope of anyone chasing you anywhere, and for three reasons.

1. Most men would be like ”ah no sure the effort of driving to the airport at this hour, I’ll send her a Whatspp and a winky face, she loves a winky face”.

2.  You most likely don’t have a fire escape.

3. Why would you even be at the airport? You can’t leave the country just because someone dumps you…. God! Get a grip.

So, there you are consumed with disappointment because your ‘Dear John’ fails to try win you back with a big romantic gesture, or worse, he doesn’t try at all.

Although, on a rare occasion when you’re sick they may show up at your house with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. But let me tell you, they will hand you the Ice-cream, mumble a ‘feel better’ type of comment and leave. And you’ll be standing there in your fluffy dressing gown, with a runny nose like ‘wait….. what?….but where’s the big speech about how much you love me and how much you want me back?’

Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was in fact, just a tub of Ice-cream? No, of course you didn’t because women like to read into things and over-analyze every detail. Men usually just mean what they say. Seriously there is no hidden meaning behind a 500ml tub of Cookie Dough.

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Those epic, romantic movies we all love have given us these ridiculous expectations for relationships. So you go around in a state of denial when it’s over because you assume you’ll eventually get back together. After all, that’s what happened in ‘The Notebook’ and ‘Pretty Woman’  and even ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. Surely no one seen that one coming, I mean the clue was in the title.

Just enjoy the film then forget about it because there is no hope of it ever happening in real life.

Even if someone did chase you down the street in the pouring rain and tell you they want to be with you, it’s most likely because they’re drunk. Chances are they won’t remember it the next day.

Collage (44)

Collage (45)

Sure it’s happened to the best of us.


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