Spend most my Sundays following maps
Up and down the country just to watch your match
Win, lose or draw you’ll explain that black card
Sure it wasn’t your fault, the ref was being hard
Say “he started it first” and you had to “sort em”
And so it begins, the big match postmortem.
Monday night, you’re at the ice baths
I guess this means we’ll postpone the chats
About holidays, getaways and hotels with a pool
I’m mad to book something but I’ll play it cool
You can’t go in May or even in June
There’s a two week window and that’s “the rule”.
Tuesday night training means a drive to the sticks
So I suppose this means no chill and Netflix!
Wednesdays are made for dinner and wine
But you’re off the drink cos’ it’s “champo time”
A carb free meal it will have to be
Shakes are essential and protein is key.
Thursday brings a nutrition lesson
A hamstring injury and a physio session
Concern and worry over being fit and ready
The mood in the gaff is far from steady.
Friday morning, time to pack your kit
Rushing around no time to sit
I doubt you’re listening to a word I say
So it’s a good time to tell you I booked St. Tropez.
A Saturday phone call just to check in
You’re pumped and buzzing
All set for the win.
I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll go watch you play
Hoping the injury keeps at bay
Cheering and roaring from inside the stand
Freezing my arse off with a coffee in hand.
Driving back up toward the big smoke
Now I’m the one ranting “that ref was a joke”
You laugh and nod because I “haven’t got a clue”
That’s GAA life, sure what can you do.
Swapping nights at bars
For Tesco clubcards
Goodbye disco bopping
My weekend’s dedicated to shopping
Trawling the aisles and feeling that thrill
“3 for 10” she says at the till.
Wait as those points get added to your bill.
But when did I get old?
The joy that comes from a tidy house
And a happily fed spouse
Hair up in a bun
Swapping mornings in the sun
Just to get the washing done
“Great day for drying”
When did I become no fun?
Preparing lunches for the week
Getting a decent night’s sleep
Knowing grown up things like;
“Eggs are cheaper by the dozen”
Or the satisfaction of a spanking clean oven
At the end of the day when all is done
And there’s no clothes left to fold
And no one else to scold
Peer out the curtains at the noisy kids on the road
“Tut Tut…. so bold”
When did I get so old?
You know them. The kind of bloke that needs reminding because he completely ‘forgets’ he has a girlfriend or rather is well aware that he does but chooses to ignore it on a night out or weekend away.
Everybody knows about her but for some odd reason they can’t bring themselves to mention her name or acknowledge her existence.
Just be grateful you’re not her. Imagine being that girl – sitting at home picking a nice filter for your cute, little couple’s selfie, meanwhile your bloke is out partying like;
There’s nothing worse than getting the boot(no point in sugar coating it) but what happens on the flip side?
Breaking up with someone isn’t an easy feat. It’s easy to take pity on the person being dumped, but really you should spare a thought for the other half. God knows they’ve probably been lying awake all night desperately googling the right/easiest way to get out of their relationship.
Generic Break Up Lines Often Used.
1. “Our lives are going in different directions” – They’re on the dole, you’re not. Enough said.
2. “The timing is wrong” – Ugh spare us. Sometimes though, the timing might not be good, especially if you’ve gotten together when neither of you were in a good place or when an ex is still on the scene trying to mess things up. It happens. Continue reading